How to Support Someone Who Is Struggling

When someone close to you is having a hard time, it is easy to worry about saying the wrong thing and end up saying nothing at all. Silence is usually the greater risk.

Ask, then listen

A direct question asked kindly is hard to improve on. How have you really been? Then leave room for the answer. Most people do not need advice in that moment. They need to be heard without being managed.

Things worth avoiding

• Comparing their situation to someone who has it worse

• Rushing to fix the problem before you understand it

• Promising to keep a secret you may not be able to keep safely

Offer something specific

Let me know if you need anything is easy to decline. Offering to sit with them while they make a call, or to check in on Thursday, is much easier to accept.

Look after yourself too

Supporting someone through a long stretch is tiring, and you are allowed to have limits. You are not their therapist, and you do not have to carry it alone.

If it is urgent

If you believe someone is in immediate danger, do not wait. Our Crisis Support page lists where to turn right away. For ongoing support, an Initial Consultation is a good first step, for them or for you.